In reality, there are a lot of stories about the failure of the cosmetic surgery. This is a different one for you today.
Under the arrangement of mother's kindness, a girl who was obedient and learned from study on the operating table didn't realize the risk of waiting in front.
A sort of accident is the objective factors, the protagonist from the formation of the weakness of the tragedy also fueled the doomed fate, more worthy of reflection.
This article is reprinted by "human theLivings"
ID:thelivings
The picture of the "plastic diary"
From the end of last year, when my mother called me, she began to talk about the topic of plastic surgery.
For the first time, she said the daughter of a friend of her: "I went to the street today to see the daughter of the aunt's house, do you remember?" It's beautiful! But I heard she had done a little plastic. It is true that it can not be seen, but the effect is still possible. "
I didn't answer, how to evaluate the long lost classmates become beautiful, rich, I do not know, never thought.
Later on the phone, the mother talked about the plastic surgery several times, from the students to the female star, the final conclusion is always: the whole, no big deal. I have always thought that this is just the mother who likes beauty products to gossip and gossip. Until one day, when mother chatted about others' plastic surgery, she suddenly jumped the topic to me.
"I think you are all good. It's a little bit better for the nose, or do we consult and consult?" "
In the face of the sudden temptation of the mother, I was stunned for a moment, and I suddenly understood the intention.
"What do you want to say?" Let me plastic? "
"I think I can consult and consult. "
"I'm not going!" "
Plastic is a distant and fresh word for me. In the course of my growing up, I didn't enjoy the treatment of beautiful girls, but it never made a lot of trouble.
My mother threw it out of me, and for me, it was like asking a high school student whether to think about buying a car.
I thought, after a decisive refusal, the matter could be put to a end.
However, it does not.
After a week, my mother said on the phone that she had made an appointment for an institution and I could go to a consultation immediately when I had a holiday. The mother's dedication, I feel funny and annoying: "don't say this thing, I don't want to go! "
"I'm doing it for you. I just don't worry about you." "
Then, in every phone call before the holiday, the mother mentioned it. Once again, I expressed my firm rejection.
"I won't go, I won't go!" "
Some things I realized and accepted: from small to large, in my eyes, I was "cute" and "smart." but when changing seats, no one helped me move bookshelves and piles of papers. I didn't feel anything wrong with these things, no loss, no jealousy. I study diligently, live flat and live, and get unique pleasures in my favorite things.
I did a few college and continue to live a person extremely lonely, soak in the library, a man went to see the popular movie, a personal luggage from a layer of mentioned six layers, one can only receive from their parents.
The roommate has changed three boys, from the big brother to the younger brother, from the boy to the subterranean punk. Once, the night before the topic boyfriend dormitory, I interrupt, slipped on the headset, I ask myself: "always a person to do so many things, you will feel sweaty, feel sad? Of course. "
But for all the time I was alone, my answer was that I was not strong enough and not good enough.
Later, the good friends around you were in love.
I said, "I don't think many boys and I don't like it. "
They said, "yes, you are excellent. Look for it slowly." "
Then, some of them broke up.
I said, "I think I have a good person. I don't have time for it." "
They said, "yes! The boys are naive. "
Then, some people are in love again.
I asked, "Why are you always so fast? I feel it's not so easy to meet someone who likes it. "
The friend said, "yes, there are many boys, but they look at their faces." "
Hear the words of a friend, clicked in my heart: This is the first time I clearly received from others, a gentle reminder.
Is that so? Alone because my face? No love, not because I don't want, but I have never been selected. I think of those aunts who are more and more beautiful, and more clearly see the politeness in their words.
It is easy for a girl to admit that she is not beautiful. May need a knife cut out those pride tentacles, buried in the instinct of self will be sad, depressed, narrowed into that is called "ordinary girl" glass box.
This reminder, bring me is a kind of "philosophy" level of confusion: I don't understand why this "I" has nothing to do, I cannot change, and cannot choose what will become, I should get something determinant, become my pitied or abandoned reason. It was like a prickly unblunted thorn. It came back and forth again and again on my body. But this is not a fatal problem, I did not want to change, but once and again, buried it with the lost ash.
It didn't take long to talk about plastic surgery on the phone. My mother checked out and found a black piece in the body. The doctor said it was not possible to confirm whether it was a malignant tumor.
The mother is a careful, thoughtful person who always arranges the affairs of the family, and even the elders are always willing to discuss things with her. Since childhood, I was her meticulous care, the whole night to accompany me to solve mathematical problems, give me with complex braids, from the rain rushed to send me an umbrella, with her body to me from the blazing sun. The careful mother must have known it too. Her daughter had never been a dazzling flower. When she was worried about her parents' love for their children, she never told me anything. She knew it was not necessary. The mother kept sighing on the phone. I know, she's scared.
"Mom is thinking, you change a little bit more beautiful, maybe a lot of things will be better. "
I didn't expect the mother to forget it at the time of the disturbing review notice.
"I have already made an appointment. You and I go and have a look. Mom wants you. "Mother mean, icing on the cake, Why not?. Because of this, she wanted me to become more beautiful.
In the face of escalating exhortations and nagging mother, I thought the sentence against the mother's words, I think it will have great power, I shouted: "so you abandon me looks like? Can't I live without this operation? "
When I say this, I am very unangry, with a full heart of bitterness and grievance, red eyes. I still have a glimmer of hope. I tried to ask my father for help. I want to get his support and tell me, "no matter, you are fine, you are not wrong. Those are the wrong people."
But what I've been waiting for is, "you'll see it later." We are around you, and we can also help you pay the expenses, accompany you, and help you. "
I suddenly realized that our dialogue was closed in two vacuums, such as the dialogue between scientists and aliens in the movie "coming", and the two sides were not in the context where they could understand each other.
"If I'm sick, I really can't do it." "
"Well, let's go. "
I finally promised my mother that I could go to "consulting".
I have been too lazy to distinguish this good word from the white flag I had been put up by emotional coercion, or I really want to come to the camp of the other party voluntarily for the sake of beauty and easy to live.
In February of this year's holiday, my mother would take me to an appointment for a good facelift, which was located in the raging shopping center of the city center. Elevator to the eighteen floor, the elevator door to the giant pink sign, wearing a beige silk dress, line bump female models delicate features -- I never thought that the next seven months, I will be among the countless times in the elevator door open, staring at this sign, the female model smile good eye, my witness chaos and defeat.
We sat by the window, the sofa is pink, floral patterns, bright windows, pleasant scenery, rose tea is still warm. I entered the Wi-Fi password hanging on the wall and looked at a circle of friends - just in the elevator, the picture was loaded.
A white coat, claiming to be the manager Xu lady sat down, in early thirty, makeup, black leather boots. She began to introduce that the rhinoplasty has three options: silica gel, bulkhead and cartilage tissue. The price increases in turn, of course, the more expensive the better. Cartilage tissue from his body to take two openings, but the effect is best, the price is high, more than ten million. The bulk effect is also very good, but only in one place the knife.
The Xu manager recommends the bulge and then leaves to get the information.
"How do you feel?" "My mother clapped me."
"I don't know, you see. "
The Xu manager came back with two transparent boxes, thinking that her mother wanted to do plastic and continue to introduce her to her mother. My mother clapped me again, and I had to turn off my cell phone and go up. The manager immediately understood, and said:
"The nose type is good for a little girl. The two is sure to do well, and you decide it yourself." "
"Do we want to do it naturally? It's too high, and want to fit your face." "The mother said."
"Sister, do not worry about this, you look at me!" "Xu, the manager, suddenly turned his face close to us." my nose has just finished the bulge. You feel it. What can you see? "
"You do it well, I don't know you did it." "The mother said as gently as Xu's nose beam.
"Yes. Our doctors to design the nasal type according to your requirements, if you must do our net red nose doctor would refuse, they will be for you to customize and adjust, certainly not an exaggeration, is overstating the point in your present level, it is beautiful but can not tell where the effect of our flagship such institutions. "
At this point, Xu manager felt that it was time to introduce Dr. Ma to me.
Doctor's reception room is small, the room is still pink, sofa table is a set of European Suihua, door hanging on the wall side of the clean room window and mirror, mirror, behind is still the city overlooking the scenery. The first sentence of Ma's entrance is, "come, just end a operation and have been busy recently." "
He was tall and smiling. His buttons on his gown were open, like a white windbreaker. He didn't plan to sit down. He just came in to see it.
"Doctor, do you think she has a good nose?" "The mother asked in a tentative way.
The horse doctor went to the edge of the sofa, let me face upward, press the foot of the mountain, and let me ceguolian.
"Do it well. A little cushion, just here. His cold fingers pinched my nose.
"Yes, I think it can be here, too. The mother hurried in.
"That's OK. That's all right. How many operations? "
"No, no, no, we are here to consult." When I heard the word, I was a little restless, and I retracted the sofa.
"No, you talk slowly. "The horse doctor," no matter what the other way, "this afternoon the appointment of the guests can not come, a operation, I thought you asked. If you don't do it today, it will be full in the next two weeks. Come back after the new year. "
"OK, well, I'll talk to them again, doctor, you are busy. "At the side of the Xu manager, he got up and opened the door.
"You talk, I'll deal with other things first." The manager of Xu understands. The doctor laughed at us and took the door.
After the horse doctor, mother began to bargain with Xu manager, Xu said that the price of the expansion body was fifteen thousand, and the mother wanted to talk about twelve thousand. The conversation, and come in a tall middle-aged woman, shoulder hair, a V wearing a beige hair coat collar and chest yellow sweater, a palm of jade dangling. Mr. Xu asked her "Li Jie" politely. She nodded, and asked Xiao Xu manager to pick up the phone call, then she sat down and continued to chat with her mother about the price.
"We were introduced by sister Wang. "The mother said."
"Oh! Sister Wang! Our old customers - how, how much is the psychological price? "The woman stood with his hands on his waist and turned to her mother."
"Twelve thousand." "
"Twelve thousand is a little low." In this way, we will empty one, you this small operation, preparation is not troublesome, we do not waste today, we will give you this price. It's good to do early. "
"Sister Li, this one I haven't accepted here!" "The Xu manager, who did not leave, was very anxious.
"Okay! You go to the phone, I do it, that's the way! "Sister Li said loudly, so that we had little time to talk.
"We just come to consult..." "The mother didn't seem to be ready for my operation today.
"What do you consult?" What else does not understand? The operation is done in a month or more, half an hour, and we don't do it today. We did the same in a few weeks. If you talk about it again, you can do it later, but it will only work at the original price. "
My mother looked at me, a completely persuasive look, and my mind had no idea for a moment.
"This is not painful, very fast, a small mouth." "My mother relieved me again."
"Fear of pain?" Silly girl. In order to be beautiful, this little pain is not a pain. Here, let's sign a contract and let Dr. Ma look at you carefully. Change your shoes and go to the operation room. "Li Jie allowing no explanation.
Two of me in my heart, one of them, was defeated.
There was a little warm air in the operating room. I was lying on the operating table and I was lying on the stainless steel plate. The glass bottles, needles and cotton swabs were placed neatly. There was a huge instrument in the corner, and a white locker was also full of stuff.
Here the room layout style, and outside a large gap, goods angular, color simple and orderly, between the two places, the only connection is on the stool bear doll. I was so awake in the operation room that I felt a bit absurd for the unexpected scene.
The doctor just walked in, still smiling gently, with three nurses coming in. Dr. Ma picked up a black Mark pen and drew a few strokes on my nose.
"You see, this is the point of the whole nose. It's done well here. Here is the highlight. Let's mention it. "
The nurses listened carefully and nodded.
My face is covered with a layer of medical protective cloth, every word they say I can understand, but feel that these sounds seem to float in the distant place, has nothing to do with me. Strange and uneasy, at the same time, a thick layer of cloth was pulled up in my brain, which made me unable to think or understand the current situation. A strange sense of inertia controlled me.
After two needles of anesthetic, I closed my eyes, with countless hands shaking in front of me, and the sense of time completely disappeared.
In a daze, finally heard the doctor said: "now good, we come together. "
The stitching process is better than I thought but also difficult, perhaps the anesthetic potency of each recession, the needle, has a blunt pain, I felt my body, like a pacemaker and bring down the patient, because of the pain and shock, cramps, shrinkage and trembling. Every pain, I count, about eight times.
When you sit up from the operating table, the doctor gave me with a mirror, I just look away: my face is full of sweat, skin exudate mixture oil, tears and blood. I'm still digesting the pain, and I really don't have any spare power to digest this embarrassing face.
When I came out of the operation room, my nose was still bleeding. I put cotton swabs in the middle of people, waiting for them to flow down, and did not dare to reach it near the wound. There were several black lines in the nostrils, and purple blood began to appear around the eyes. I didn't listen to the doctor in the way of nursing.
My mother wiped my forehead and grasped my hand. I watched her only squeeze out two words:
"I hurt. "
Why should a healthy person take the initiative to send himself into the operation room to bear the pain? This was one of the questions that had been knocking on my brain in the operation room that day.
The first three days after surgery, to cosmetic institution anti-inflammatory every day; a week later, down the line, daily alcohol disinfection, food.
It doesn't seem to be so bad, except that my mouth can't make a "SIP". The nose is up and up, and the two nostrils are like a good - looking cave after the dressing.
The results of the mother's review are also out, no problem. Happy and happy, open heart.
It seemed to have been disappearing in my life, and I found blood in the nostrils one day after the new year.
The mother called them for the first time, and the feedback was, "don't worry about it, this is a normal phenomenon, and more disinfectant." "
The mother asked me, "when they say it's normal, you pay more attention to cleaning." Would you like to talk to them about the situation? "
"No!" "My first reaction is a shame. I don't know where this shame comes from, but I just don't want to save any contact with them in cell phone or WeChat.
When I ran out of fourth bottles of alcohol and tenth packs of cotton swabs, the blood in my nose began to turn white, and a lump appeared in the wound and the yellow mucus was secreted. I can only stop all the Cleansing Cream, but every time after taking a bath, or there will be a dark red blood flow out of the nose.
I had to start looking for doctor Ma every day to clean up. I was arranged in the same operation room, with alcohol, iodine, anesthetic needles, and cleaning needles on time and on time.
After fifteen days, but no longer liquid secretion, a place to grow like a stone ball, drag out of the mouth of the cave.
The horse doctor said: "you need a small operation to cut granulation. "
Is he to the surgeon, but changed to several other classes of nurses.
Excision of granulation, suture, nursing, antiphlogistic, disassembly line. Another week, the wound again outflow of mucus and blood, the blood stopped, and a long ball. This painful process seems to have entered a terrible cycle.
I go out and take classes as usual every day. Whenever there is an organization and a purulent bloodstream, I wit my head and clean it with a cotton swab.
One day morning wash, I see in the mirror, a dark red blood lie on the cheeks, like a knife that this less than perfect face two times: tear sleep outflow pus and blood coagulation. I immediately wiped it out with a towel. I really hope I didn't wake up and see it wrong. Maybe the thin nostrils have a lot of pinholes on the skin, but it doesn't matter, they heal quickly, the doctor said, the skin has a memory.
"It should be an inflammation of the pores." "
"Maybe it's a wound infection."
"The estimate is material exclusion"
In the observation of each visit, Dr. Ma constantly gave the conclusion of different speculative diagnosis. The mechanism seems to have an invisible magnetic field. Once it is close to it, it will want to listen to it, identify with it, lose all resistance, and suck away the reason and courage in me.
"About one operation on Friday to take out the prosthesis. "
For a nice nose, I struggle for seven months, have tried all possible treatment, before the needle nose is a sieve, I decided to remove this restless foreign body.
The horse doctor puts forward the scheme very early, my mother and I hesitate, until repeated inflammation, pus and odor of alcohol, my nose lingering exhausted. I overcame the fear of disfigurement of the disfigurement of the flower season and prepared for the rest of the school. Finally, I picked up the phone and made an appointment with Dr. Ma to take out the prosthesis.
The night before the operation, she cried. After the operation, she dared tell me that she had found a lot of information on the Internet that night, and that it was very risky to take out the operation.
The operation was still in the operation room that I was fully familiar with, and was still a completely familiar horse doctor. I told them that the first operation was too painful, and Dr. Ma generously put four needles on my face. This time I was able to get into the atmosphere of the operation room. Someone was pulling my face, but I had no pain.
I am like a live experimental product on the operating table, and horse doctor still says to the nurses on the side of the operation: "you see this is to be taken like this, many people will not. All of them must be taken out, so every operation should record what had been put at the time and how much to go in. "
The operating light was off, and I got up, and this time no one gave me a mirror, and I went out.
Mother anxiously sitting in the pink lounge waiting for me, see me, stretched out his hands to help me: "nose out of the blood, wipe. "
The anesthesia was not over. I couldn't feel the flow out, and I couldn't find my nose for a while. The mother hugged me, tears like summer showers, big drops rolled down.
"I'm sorry, you're suffering. Mother was wrong, and mother would not know why he was forcing you so. Mother was lost, too. "
I was snuggled up in her arms, holding her in peace and crying.
Crying is because of injustice, but there is also the joy which can not be restrained inside the heart: because the operation has not failed, there is no disfigurement. Next is the long wound healing nursing period. It's also because, even though I didn't have the courage to stop plastic surgery, I got the chance to do my own job again after the accident. I went back to my starting point, I grew up, I grew up, I experienced my own experience and made decisions for myself.
Beauty is not wrong, but it is the only way to live better, but it is wrong.
I am also wrong. I habitually escape, let myself obey the majority, and go all the way with numbness, resist not thorough, give up thoroughly, and happiness will not be thorough. Only during this period, the sense of self splitting is thorough.
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